Thursday, September 29, 2016

The most important thing in football is RELATIONSHIPS

The college football and NFL seasons have finally begun, and for millions of us fans we can finally travel, prepare, tailgate, and cheer for our favorite teams on their pursuit of the playoffs and of the title(s).  After months of preparations, coaches and players can actually begin to play and live out their dreams.  But, at the season’s end, many of these same coaches and players will say good-bye to their team they have put so much blood, sweat and time into.  My question is what will they miss the most?

If history can give us some insight, the answer is “RELATIONSHIPS”.  Time and time again we have seen coaches and players endure epic battles, brutal injuries, and bitter defeats without shedding a single tear.  When the time comes to leave a team behind, these same tough and courageous individuals cry in front of millions of people.   

Some may seem this as a judgment or criticism towards those emotional individuals; on the contrary, this is a display of admiration and respect of how important “RELATIONSHIPS” are towards happiness.  The same scenario is true for so many of us ordinary people with ordinary careers.  When it comes time for us to move on to something different, it is the relationships that are often the hardest thing to leave behind.

In conclusion, to “Achieve Happiness”, cherish your good relationships and spend plenty of time nurturing and enjoying them.



-- Armann

Friday, September 2, 2016

Contempt Destroys Relationships

Recently I came across an article by Susan Heitler Ph. D. who argued that “contempt” destroys relationships of all kind.  Having been through that a time or two, I can wholeheartedly agree with her assertion. 

According to Wikipedia, contempt has its origins in the year 1393, from the Latin word contemptus meaning scorn.  Even though people throughout time may not have been aware of the definition, they certainly have felt the emotional effects of contempt.  These subtle gestures or words such as eye-rolling, upper lip raising, and sarcasm are all signs of contempt.  The bottom line is that contempt indicates that a partner is not communicating to understand and grow, but rather to gain power and to belittle. 
Dr. Heitler goes on to describe six identifiers that are clear signals of a contemptuous relationship including:  
  1. Insufficient love
  2. Powering over
  3. Toxicity dump
  4. Rejection
  5. Break in the communication flow
  6. Feelings of hopelessness
The good news is that contempt has a polar opposite force, and a force that helps a relationship to bond, grow, and nurture.  As much as contempt indicates dismissal and disregard for a partner, empathy signals appreciation, affection, and LOVE. 
So on your journey to “Achieving Happiness”, work on getting rid of contempt, and rather choose to understand, appreciate, and empathize.  Good Luck.

To read Susan Heitler Ph. D.’s whole article, go to this website:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201303/how-contempt-destroys-relationships

Contempt Destroys Relationships

Recently I came across an article by Susan Heitler Ph. D. who argued that “contempt” destroys relationships of all kind.  Having been through that a time or two, I can wholeheartedly agree with her assertion. 

According to Wikipedia, contempt has its origins in the year 1393, from the Latin word contemptus meaning scorn.  Even though people throughout time may not have been aware of the definition, they certainly have felt the emotional effects of contempt.  These subtle gestures or words such as eye-rolling, upper lip raising, and sarcasm are all signs of contempt.  The bottom line is that contempt indicates that a partner is not communicating to understand and grow, but rather to gain power and to belittle. 
Dr. Heitler goes on to describe six identifiers that are clear signals of a contemptuous relationship including:  
  1. Insufficient love
  2. Powering over
  3. Toxicity dump
  4. Rejection
  5. Break in the communication flow
  6. Feelings of hopelessness

The good news is that contempt has a polar opposite force, and a force that helps a relationship to bond, grow, and nurture.  As much as contempt indicates dismissal and disregard for a partner, empathy signals appreciation, affection, and LOVE. 
So on your journey to “Achieving Happiness”, work on getting rid of contempt, and rather choose to understand, appreciate, and empathize.  Good Luck.

To read Susan Heitler Ph. D.’s whole article, go to this website:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201303/how-contempt-destroys-relationships