Not responsible "Parenthood"

It is really frustrating to watch television shows that are trying to portray a "current" real-life event and misrepresent it. They don't recognize the massive responsibility they carry with the accuracy (or inaccuracy) of their story lines when they have such a large following of their show. Many people watch these shows and it is their only reference with which to understand the facts.

When shows don't do their due diligence by relaying accurate research and information, they are steering their audiences in the wrong direction. Granted, it is also irresponsible for the general public to take these shows at their word as fact, but mass media has taken on that role whether we like it or not.

The prime time drama "Parenthood" is one of my favorite shows and I love that they attempt to stay current and tackle difficult real-life topics, but was sorely disappointed in their drastic misrepresentation of Asperger syndrome. The story line I am referring to is about a family who has a son with a recent diagnosis of Asperger syndrome. They have hired a private ABA therapist who comes to their home and works with their son on his homework, eye contact, social skills, etc. He receives stickers as rewards/incentives for "appropriate behavior".  Up until last week’s episode, they have done a fairly good job of portraying an accurate time line of progress seen using ABA therapy (although of course not the same caliber seen with Floortime Therapy, but I am known to be bias).

The error seen in last week’s show followed a frustrated father who feels like the progress in therapy is not moving fast enough and he feels very upset that his son has no interest in sharing his life with him and also shows little interest in his dad's life. After many failed attempts at trying to talk to his son and being rejected, the dad insists on starting a new tradition of a weekly father/son dinner.

The disappointing scene occurs in the car driving to the first father/son dinner. The father tries several unsuccessful attempts to get his son to put down his handheld video game and talk to him. He tries to ask him about his day, tell him what happened in his own life, he tries talking about topics that usually were of interest to his son and got continuously upset by his son's lack of interest in interacting with him. Eventually the father hit his hands on the steering wheel and angrily announced how much it upset him and how it hurt his feelings that his son didn't care about getting to know him better. The son sat silently for a few seconds (here it comes), looked at his own reflection in the window, lowered and turned off his video game, looked at his father and asked him a complex insightful question referring back to a conversation from earlier in the day. While this was a nice father/son feel good moment, it portrays this child with Asperger syndrome as having a choice in his level of interaction/engagement abilities. As if in all previous interactions, he has made a conscious choice not to engage......giving the audience the impression that these children can interact appropriately, they just CHOOSE not to.

If this were truly the case, than why doesn't this happen more often? Why can't we just tell these kids they are hurting our feelings and we really want them to talk to us and have an interest in our lives? Because this is not a realistic expectation, that’s why. Children with Autism and Asperger syndrome are NOT merely choosing not to interact or relate....they lack the ability to do so on their own (the differences in each child diagnosed vary greatly). Through intense play and engaging therapeutic interactions they can learn, but it is not a choice. If this is how society is taught to view this spectrum of disorders, than it is no wonder that children with Autism and their parents are looked at with contempt and sometimes disgust when: there is a loud "meltdown" in public (why can't that parent control their child?); when a child cannot sustain eye contact or focus within a group (they will grow out of it); when a child is aggressive towards other children (that child just needs more discipline); or when a child is acting out (that child must not get enough attention at home). No! These children are acting this way because they have not acquired the developmental ability to interact socially and communicate appropriately in the manner that you and I did; these are developmental skills they have to learn through play and intentional interactions with others. This is not a switch that will magically be turned on one day nor is it a choice; and until mass media takes the responsibility to portray this accurately, the general public will continue to look at these children and parents with apprehension and judgment.