Horseshoes and Hand-grenades

“Almost only counts in Horseshoes and Hand-grenades”… and at TCS.  On the third and final day at the Emory Pool, F (a 15 year old client of ours) stood on the edge of the 3-meter high dive fighting his instincts not to jump.  He had been watching the other guys jump off with ease and wanted to experience it for himself.  He had made several trips up the high dive, with each resulting in a walk down.  On this occasion F had pumped himself up, visualized how great it would be to overcome his anxiety of heights, and possibly impress some of the girls that were poolside sunbathing. 

After a several minutes of “should I or should I not” and couple of trips back and forth on the diving board, we (the group) could not keep quite any longer.  F had been crystal clear that he did not want any encouragement or attention while he was up there because that would only embarrass him and lessen the chances of him going through with it.  The rest of the group did a wonderful job of respecting F’s wishes, but we so desperately wanted him to succeed that we needed to chime in with extra incentives and words of encouragements.  I talked about how close he was to overcoming this fear and how wonderful he would feel after he jumped, Another student came up with an idea of being able to play Nintendo DS in the van (during the school day) if he jumped.  Both strategies seemed to have a positive impact on F’s mood and determination.  He even negotiated 7 van trips in which the whole group could play their DS.  The rest of the guys waited patiently on the pool deck eagerly waiting and hoping he would jump, and some had additional words of encouragement for F.

Minute after minute went by, and F’s roller coaster ride of emotions continued.  The group below became unified in their voice of encouragement, and all of us wanted him to take that final step into the pool.  Finally, after so much despair F turned around for the final time and came down the stairs.  He started to cry because he felt he had let everyone down by not doing his part of the negotiated 7 van rides of playing the DS. 

Even though F almost jumped, almost tackled his fear of heights, and almost impressed some poolside girls, the rest of the guys did come together in non-judgmental and unified way to support F.  It was amazing to be a part of such a patient group that put aside their needs in order to support F.  In the end “almost” made a huge difference on the guys of TCS.  They rallied around one person’s quest to conquer his fear, and supported him to the bitter end.