Tuesday, February 28, 2017

The Power of Vulnerability

A colleague referred me to René Brown’s Ted Talk.  She is an inspiring researcher that not only found ways to help all of us watching, but also herself.  Here are some of the highlights of her talk:
  • Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to life
  • Shame is the fear of disconnection
  • Do you believe you are worthy or belonging, being loved, being connected, to be imperfect?
  • Do you have the compassion to be kind to your self first… then to others
  • Let go of who you should be, and be who you are
  • Vulnerability is beautiful, but not always comfortable
  • Vulnerability is the birth of happiness, joy, creativity, belonging, and love
  • Blame is the a way to discharge pain and discomfort
  • We make everything uncertain…certain
  • The more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we become
  • We try to perfect not only ourselves, but also our children
  • We pretend that what we do does not effect others
  • René Brown wanted the audience to learn:
    • Let yourself be seen
    • Love with your whole heart, without any guarantee
    • Practice gratitude and joy
    • Tell yourself, “I AM ENOUGH”

To watch the Ted Talk in it’s entirety simply click on this link (https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability#t-1198854).

Go out there and practice some or all of what René Brown was trying to teach.  You will live a Happier, Healthier, and Longer life. 

Talk It Out, not It Tough

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

The Risk of Toughing it Out

There is no way around dealing with life events.  Some are easy to process, others are difficult, and some are traumatic.  No matter what the event, we use learned coping skills to be able to move forward.  There are many people, especially men, who have decided that “Toughing it Out” is their way of coping, rather than “Talking it Out”.  But, what are the consequences?

An article by Dr. Jonier, describes how depression is a real worry when “Toughing it Out”, and the results can lead to decreased physical health, increased aggression, and intense irritability.  All can damage the relationships with kids, a spouse, friends, and co-workers.  Dr. Muller wrote that “Toughing it Out” individuals dealing with trauma, such as PTSD, often revert to drugs, alcohol, or suicide.  In fact, The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention states that each year over 40,000 Americans die through suicide, and 70% are middle aged white men. 

The isolation and loneliness that comes from “Toughing it Out” not only can decrease happiness and ruin relationships, but can also be lethal. 

Take charge of your life,
Improve your relationships,
Decrease your emotional pain…

Seek help & “Talking it Out”