According to
Skillsyouneed.com, social skills are “skills you use to communicate and
interact with an other person. This is
done both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language and our
personal appearance”. All of these
skills are very important as we interact, relate, and communicate with the
world around us, and all of these skills help us towards developing a
relationship.
Webster defines a
relationship as “ when two or more people are connected or in the state of
being connected.” That means that being
in any kind of relationship is an Emotional Experience, and that requires a
different focus. Things like meaning and
trust are important in relationships, and the deep one’s even require us to be
vulnerable. But how do we go from using social
skills to developing relationships?
The answer is “An
Emotional Corrective Experience”. This
means that as we use the social skills defined above, we keep track of whether
the experience was good or bad. If it is
good, we keep going and try again in order to deepen the connection, but if it
is bad we have a tendency to withdraw and eventually lose the connection.
Countless studies
show that the happiest people are the one’s who have great relationships, so it
is fair to say that the happiest people are the one’s who have the most (and
best) emotional corrective experiences.
My advice is to go out there and build better connections, rather than focusing
on mastering a specific social skill.
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