The Sexiest Man

Great video about what it means to be a "Man" to not only us men, but also for women and children.

Video provided by Prager University

The most important thing in football is RELATIONSHIPS

The college football and NFL seasons have finally begun, and for millions of us fans we can finally travel, prepare, tailgate, and cheer for our favorite teams on their pursuit of the playoffs and of the title(s).  After months of preparations, coaches and players can actually begin to play and live out their dreams.  But, at the season’s end, many of these same coaches and players will say good-bye to their team they have put so much blood, sweat and time into.  My question is what will they miss the most?

If history can give us some insight, the answer is “RELATIONSHIPS”.  Time and time again we have seen coaches and players endure epic battles, brutal injuries, and bitter defeats without shedding a single tear.  When the time comes to leave a team behind, these same tough and courageous individuals cry in front of millions of people.   

Some may seem this as a judgment or criticism towards those emotional individuals; on the contrary, this is a display of admiration and respect of how important “RELATIONSHIPS” are towards happiness.  The same scenario is true for so many of us ordinary people with ordinary careers.  When it comes time for us to move on to something different, it is the relationships that are often the hardest thing to leave behind.

In conclusion, to “Achieve Happiness”, cherish your good relationships and spend plenty of time nurturing and enjoying them.

-- Armann

Dealing with feelings is very inefficient

One of the most frequently asked questions for people who enter therapy is “How long will this take?”  AllPsyc.com tries to answer this by writing

“The length of therapy really depends mainly on the issues being addressed and the desire of the individual to feel better. Other factors play a role, such as support from friends and family, stressors, intelligence, and amount of insight. Typically, however, some disorders require only short-term treatment such as simple phobias, impotence, and other very specific issues. Some disorders can take years to get to a resolution such as with victims of severe sexual or physical abuse, bipolar disorder, or some personality disorders. During this time, however, treatment can wax and wane, so to speak, with periods of really good days, weeks, and months, and periods of not so good days. Treatment can also progress more stepwise, with small gains being made at a steady pace.”

But what does this mean?  It means that the road to mental health is individual to you, and it takes time to get there.  You can’t simply take medication, can’t just change your diet, or can’t exercise more, you HAVE to process your feelings… and that takes time. 

If you decide to keep your feelings to yourself, tough it out, or simply just burying them, it will come back to haunt you.  Troublesome dreams, depression, anxiety, or physical issues have been reported as symptoms to unresolved emotions.

Just like you put aside time to grocery shop, work out, and clean the house, take time to process your feelings.  It will be an investment in yourself that will pay off in unlimited amount of ways. 

Enjoy the Journey

Emotional Corrective Experience - Definition

One of the most powerful influences that helps each of us to grow and change is something called “Emotional Corrective Experience”.  Dr. Hurd defined this therapeutic term as “a first-hand experience that challenges a previously held, and false or distorted, belief.”

The Medical Dictionary defined this phenomenon as, when a person changes his or her opinion, belief, or behavior pattern based on a positive experience.  In other words, there is a change in the ability to cope with something difficult based on this new and positive emotional information.  It is not enough to “reason” a bad experience away, or a past pattern away; the most sustainable impact happens when a person re-experiences it in a favorable way.

Human beings are emotional beings, and so much of how we interpret the world around us is based on our emotional experience.  So, reflect on some of your negative thoughts and patterns in order to find out how they became so bad; and ultimately how you can “change” them to have a good experience instead.

To be continued…

Win Over vs. Win With

In both personal and professional relationships, the question of winning often comes up.  As we navigate each day there is bound to be conflict due to frustration, anxiety, or misunderstandings.  We have to have an awareness of how each of us deals with these issues, and what are the goals we are trying to reach.  Are we trying to “Resolve the issue” or are we “trying to be right” or win?

In the book, 7 habits of highly effective people, James Covey talks about the “Win-Win” principle.  It describes how the best resolution is to have both parties walk away feeling good and a sense of victory.  This principle fosters more efficiency in a work environment, more satisfaction within a relationship, and more personal happiness.  Mr. Covey emphatically argues against the idea that you are considered a stronger individual if you always engage in the win-lose relationship scenarios. 

What kind of relationships do you have?  Do you constantly feel like you have to defend your position?  When the goal is to “win over” rather then to “win with”, Dr. Jessica Higgins eloquently phrased the consequence: “It becomes very difficult to maintain a respectful and considerate stance with one another”.

As you navigate your turbulent life journey, consider using the Win-Win strategy in order to achieve the most happiness and satisfaction as possible. 

Relationships and Sports

Time and time again we see coaches and athletes talk very emotionally about the loss of relationships as they are leaving a specific team.  We hear stories about all the time spent together traveling, planning, practicing, resting, eating, and simply goofing around. 

These relationships are on display for the rest of us every day as we watch them celebrate with a unique dance, handshake, or hug.  Through social media, we read about an athlete sticking up for another, or extending congratulations after a victory or championship.  So, Why is this Important?

It’s important because both research and experience have shown that good relationships lead to success and happiness.  Since 1999, the San Antonio Spurs basketball team has won the NBA Championship 5 times, and many experts have labeled them a dynasty.  On paper they are neither the best players nor the highest paid players in the league, but they usually are the best TEAM in the league.

The Spurs put a priority and emphasis on having great relationships within their team, and they have set a wonderful example for the rest of us.  No matter what kind of “team” you are a part of, prioritizing good relationships will be time well spent.  Enjoy the journey.